It's not unusual to be in love with more than one person.
It's not unusual to be in love at any age in your life.
But when you feel as if the crush you have has turned into love, you think over everything.
Everything you've gone through with him, and what could continue.
But, when you think over how no one in the world could understand the constant reminder of him every single day in your life, you then realize something.
Love is overpowering him, himself.
He's not the problem I have.
It's the feeling of love hitting me like a gust of wind hitting a branch on a tree.
But instead of the branch quietly moving back and forth,
it breaks, and is now on the ground.
Love startles me, as it takes over, and how I run through the wind, as I look back at everything we've gone through, I can see the broken branch.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Chapter 1 of Love Disorders.
Let's go back.
Back to the beginning.
Back to where I began my story as Rain Parker. The fourteen year old who's living in the bitter cold of Wisconsin, with a life with my father, living in a two story house, which is unfortunately- right beside the school.
It was a Monday, and I have half an hour to get ready for school, and for my dad. My dad's been ill for a long time. He might have lung cancer; always smoked, but quit the month that I was born- fourteen years ago. It seems that the damage was already done, and apparently so is he; stuck sitting on a couch, eating, and sleeping, and trying to help me, but he's making himself more sick by even trying to drive me to school.
And that's where my best friend James' mom helps me. She's driving me to school, even though it would only take about fifteen minutes to walk, but theres a chance of being slammed by the traffic in school mornings, from tired, idiotic people who decide to get jobs that'll make them have to work for a living; idiots.
I skipped breakfast, and ran out to James' car.
It's any old school day today. Locker, classroom to classroom, only class I'm really fond of is History. The past seems alot more interesting to me, then the future. Talk about robots? Talking electronics and all this other stuff that seems complicated and annoying. I mean, whats wrong with what we have now?
After school, I headed home by the bus.
The scholarship kids here hate the bus. Wishing it never existed. Then the rich, spoiled rotten brats that try to think of it as a large yellow limo think the same thing. But if you're like me who is on scholarship, yet has a good chunk of cash, I think of it as my only time to be by myself and think over life.
Whenever I got home, I opened up the front door, and I saw my dad sitting on the couch. Amazing at the fact the TV was on. He never watches TV. He hates actors, making his life seem fake, or that's just what he tells me every time I watch TV or go see a movie with my best friend James.
"Hey dad."
"Oh, hey hon." 'he said as he put his water down.' "How was school?"
"Fine." I replied.
"How about history class?"
"Great, as always."
"Great." he replied, as he lied back down on the couch and started to make fun of the actors running in the serious moments.
No changes any day. Not a single difference. Same questions, same reactions, and the same results on his tests apparently. I saw the folders on the kitchen table saying he's not getting any better.
All he could try doing was to hang around the house, but he keeps sleeping off days.
I'm practically the mom of the house.
My mom and dad divorced when i was about five or six. She stayed where we used to live, but my dad left, and apparently took me with him. Five years old and six years old time sucked for me.
I went upstairs to read the books from the library, since I had no homework, and I'm not that crazy about TV, as in watching it every single moment of every day.
I fell asleep after I read the book.
In the middle of the night, I was woken up by my dad's constant couching downstairs. He called his doctor, and they said they were on their way.
I would've seen this coming earlier. And apparently, so did the doctors.
I went to James' house early in the morning, since I couldn't stay with my dad.
Another day at school again.
Yet, during the classes, the only thing on my mind was whats happening to him right now at home.
I'm not allowed to be around him for too long, since they think his coughing might be contagious.
When it was History class, James got my books for me, and we sat together. And to make matters worse, we got a substitute.
Great. My favorite subject in the world, and we get a substitute with so much gel in his hair, and a heart being stabbed by a knife tatoo on his arm. What kind of person can focus with a teacher who looks like a washed up Elvis Presley? Apparently no one, because everyone was either falling asleep, or trying to say awake. Me, I was trying to actually think of the subject of the Civil War he was explaining, but I was about to fall on my book and sleep. I just wanted to go home.
Whenever we were able to go home, the bus stopped at my house, and I saw the door- wide open. I got paranoid real easily. Did he fall? Did someone break in? Was it just the wind? I hated thinking about it. I dropped my stuff and ran inside. I saw him sitting on the couch, coughing as hard as he could. I started yelling out "dad" and tried to help him. I grabbed the cane he used to keep his balance, and put it up under the door handle to keep it open. I called 911 and then I called James. James got here first, and he helped me try to keep my dad up before the ambulance came.
Whenever they finally got here, they set him down in the bed, and gave him an oxygen mask.
I kept pacing back and forth, trying to stay calm but kept panicing, as in having some trouble breathing and losing my breath alot.
None of it shouldve led to this. I thought he was getting better.....
James' mom gave me and him a ride to the hospital.
We were stuck in the waiting room while they ran his newest tests and tried to get answers of what caused this. I kept pacing back and forth, again.
"Oh, God. What's gonna happen? Why haven't they given us any answers yet?" I say to James, trying to think of some answers.
"Rain, calm down. You'll be alright. So will your dad." James said, as he gave me a friendy hug trying to help me breathe.
"What's gonna happen to me if he's not OK?" I say, as I let go.
The doctors came oustide, and me and James ran to them.
"Well?" I say, dyingfor an answer.
"He's not OK. And- he won't be." 'he says.' "I'm sorry."
Now, my heart felt like it was gonna stop.
"So what's gonna happen to me?" I ask.
"Do you have contact with any of your other family members?" he says.
"My mom." I say.
Back to the beginning.
Back to where I began my story as Rain Parker. The fourteen year old who's living in the bitter cold of Wisconsin, with a life with my father, living in a two story house, which is unfortunately- right beside the school.
It was a Monday, and I have half an hour to get ready for school, and for my dad. My dad's been ill for a long time. He might have lung cancer; always smoked, but quit the month that I was born- fourteen years ago. It seems that the damage was already done, and apparently so is he; stuck sitting on a couch, eating, and sleeping, and trying to help me, but he's making himself more sick by even trying to drive me to school.
And that's where my best friend James' mom helps me. She's driving me to school, even though it would only take about fifteen minutes to walk, but theres a chance of being slammed by the traffic in school mornings, from tired, idiotic people who decide to get jobs that'll make them have to work for a living; idiots.
I skipped breakfast, and ran out to James' car.
It's any old school day today. Locker, classroom to classroom, only class I'm really fond of is History. The past seems alot more interesting to me, then the future. Talk about robots? Talking electronics and all this other stuff that seems complicated and annoying. I mean, whats wrong with what we have now?
After school, I headed home by the bus.
The scholarship kids here hate the bus. Wishing it never existed. Then the rich, spoiled rotten brats that try to think of it as a large yellow limo think the same thing. But if you're like me who is on scholarship, yet has a good chunk of cash, I think of it as my only time to be by myself and think over life.
Whenever I got home, I opened up the front door, and I saw my dad sitting on the couch. Amazing at the fact the TV was on. He never watches TV. He hates actors, making his life seem fake, or that's just what he tells me every time I watch TV or go see a movie with my best friend James.
"Hey dad."
"Oh, hey hon." 'he said as he put his water down.' "How was school?"
"Fine." I replied.
"How about history class?"
"Great, as always."
"Great." he replied, as he lied back down on the couch and started to make fun of the actors running in the serious moments.
No changes any day. Not a single difference. Same questions, same reactions, and the same results on his tests apparently. I saw the folders on the kitchen table saying he's not getting any better.
All he could try doing was to hang around the house, but he keeps sleeping off days.
I'm practically the mom of the house.
My mom and dad divorced when i was about five or six. She stayed where we used to live, but my dad left, and apparently took me with him. Five years old and six years old time sucked for me.
I went upstairs to read the books from the library, since I had no homework, and I'm not that crazy about TV, as in watching it every single moment of every day.
I fell asleep after I read the book.
In the middle of the night, I was woken up by my dad's constant couching downstairs. He called his doctor, and they said they were on their way.
I would've seen this coming earlier. And apparently, so did the doctors.
I went to James' house early in the morning, since I couldn't stay with my dad.
Another day at school again.
Yet, during the classes, the only thing on my mind was whats happening to him right now at home.
I'm not allowed to be around him for too long, since they think his coughing might be contagious.
When it was History class, James got my books for me, and we sat together. And to make matters worse, we got a substitute.
Great. My favorite subject in the world, and we get a substitute with so much gel in his hair, and a heart being stabbed by a knife tatoo on his arm. What kind of person can focus with a teacher who looks like a washed up Elvis Presley? Apparently no one, because everyone was either falling asleep, or trying to say awake. Me, I was trying to actually think of the subject of the Civil War he was explaining, but I was about to fall on my book and sleep. I just wanted to go home.
Whenever we were able to go home, the bus stopped at my house, and I saw the door- wide open. I got paranoid real easily. Did he fall? Did someone break in? Was it just the wind? I hated thinking about it. I dropped my stuff and ran inside. I saw him sitting on the couch, coughing as hard as he could. I started yelling out "dad" and tried to help him. I grabbed the cane he used to keep his balance, and put it up under the door handle to keep it open. I called 911 and then I called James. James got here first, and he helped me try to keep my dad up before the ambulance came.
Whenever they finally got here, they set him down in the bed, and gave him an oxygen mask.
I kept pacing back and forth, trying to stay calm but kept panicing, as in having some trouble breathing and losing my breath alot.
None of it shouldve led to this. I thought he was getting better.....
James' mom gave me and him a ride to the hospital.
We were stuck in the waiting room while they ran his newest tests and tried to get answers of what caused this. I kept pacing back and forth, again.
"Oh, God. What's gonna happen? Why haven't they given us any answers yet?" I say to James, trying to think of some answers.
"Rain, calm down. You'll be alright. So will your dad." James said, as he gave me a friendy hug trying to help me breathe.
"What's gonna happen to me if he's not OK?" I say, as I let go.
The doctors came oustide, and me and James ran to them.
"Well?" I say, dyingfor an answer.
"He's not OK. And- he won't be." 'he says.' "I'm sorry."
Now, my heart felt like it was gonna stop.
"So what's gonna happen to me?" I ask.
"Do you have contact with any of your other family members?" he says.
"My mom." I say.
Cold Summer to Love Disorders
Hey my people.
Hopefully, as you have already read the Epilogue, I'm changing the title of the bok Cold Summer to Love Disorders.
At first, I thought that Cold Summer was really riviting, and it is, but I think Love Disorders will describe the bok alot better. At least I hope so.
Anyways, the chapters will be posted in a number of weeks, maybe about three weeks? I don't know, it'll take time.
Anyhow, I'm getting started on them. (:
Hopefully, as you have already read the Epilogue, I'm changing the title of the bok Cold Summer to Love Disorders.
At first, I thought that Cold Summer was really riviting, and it is, but I think Love Disorders will describe the bok alot better. At least I hope so.
Anyways, the chapters will be posted in a number of weeks, maybe about three weeks? I don't know, it'll take time.
Anyhow, I'm getting started on them. (:
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